


falling, falling, falling (for you, you, you)

by eunbinatozaki



Series: wherever you are [3]
Category: PRISTIN (Band)
Genre: +98s is a thing, F/F, mentions of side ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-11-29 01:06:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18216122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunbinatozaki/pseuds/eunbinatozaki
Summary: it's like everything in jieqiong's life shifts into place, while also simultaneously crumbles, within five seconds.





	1. that’s the last thing that i want.

**Author's Note:**

> (//) denotes same scene just different time.  
> (--) denotes a semi-flashback within the thought process of the scene.  
> (linebreak) denotes a new scene entirely.
> 
> enjoy.
> 
> @sojungbi on twt.

jieqiong’s never been in love.

she’s never felt her heart pound like it’s about to leave her chest when she sees someone she likes. she’s never had sweaty hands when they touch another's. she’s never had her foot pop like in the movies when she’s been kissed after a particularly nice date to the movies or dinner. she’s never felt sparks when her eyes met someone else’s across the room or saw fireworks explode when someone confessed their love for her.

being in love just isn’t plausible, or necessary, to her.

she doesn’t feel jealousy when yaebin, her friend of now six years, pulls her to the side during a lull between lectures, giddy and drunk on happiness, and whispers about a girl she loves and has been waiting to tell her about. it’s kim minkyung, apparently, the _most gorgeous and talented and smart and precious girl ever_ as yaebin puts it, and jieqiong smiles. because yaebin is different than her. yaebin falls in love easily, quickly, with anyone she deems worthy of feeling loved. she loves like she lives, hard and fast and without hesitation, and jieqiong knows that it means something more than it usually does when yaebin shyly asks jieqiong to meet her. because even if yaebin loves fast, the love fizzles out just as quick before she moves on to loving again.

(she can only remember meeting one of yaebin’s aforementioned lovers. bae sungyeon, a year younger than them but infinitely years ahead of them at the same time.

they’d met at summer camp, jieqiong remembers, and yaebin fell hard and fast when sungyeon mentioned she’d spend the entire summer teaching her how to play guitar. yaebin had swooned, had spent the entire break and well into the new school year learning and learning, trying to impress sungyeon, to show her the lessons were something she truly was serious about. jieqiong remembers helping yaebin put bandaids on her blisters as she gushed about sungyeon, remembers the smile on her face, remembers sungyeon’s embarrassed blush as yaebin sang her praises when they all met for pizza for the first time.

jieqiong also remembers when it ended. she remembers how yaebin had smiled fondly when she waved at sungyeon when they passed her in the mall, the older girl mentioning that what she felt was great, that what they had was good, but that it naturally fizzled out.

( _“love does that sometimes, you know?”_ _yaebin had mumbled, distracted as she looked over new strings for her guitar. they may have ended, but her love for the instrument only grew. a labor of love lost, yaebin had called it._ “ _love ends, but you learn things during it. i learned the guitar and learned what it’s like to love bae sungyeon all in one go.”_ )

jieqiong remembers that she didn’t understand the sentiment. but it sounded profound.)  


* * *

  
when jieqiong meets minkyung, she isn’t alone.

there’s a girl beside her, arms crossed over her chest and what jieqiong figures is supposed to be an intimidating frown firm on her lips as they sit. she eyes them both, then glances to minkyung before looking back once more, nodding toward the two.

“which one of you is kang yaebin?”

(her voice is nothing like jieqiong expects. it’s a bit on the louder side, words slightly slurred as she drags some of them together, but it’s easy to listen to. drastically lower than her own noticeable high pitch, but still slightly higher than yaebin’s cool, low drawl. jieqiong likes it, she thinks.)

minkyung sighs from beside her when the girl clears her throat, waiting for an answer. “just answer her. eunwoo wants to do the whole ‘hurt my best friend, i hurt you talk’ and i say you humor her.”

(eunwoo.

jieqiong whispers it under her breath, likes the way her mouth curves around the two syllables.

 _eunwoo_.)

at some point, yaebin finally answers her and eunwoo goes into this whole spiel about being a trained martial artist who will not hesitate to kick yaebin’s ass if she hurts minkyung (jieqiong highly doubts any of it is true, but the slightly panicked look on yaebin’s face and the proud smirk stretched across eunwoo’s mouth is more than enough for her to keep quiet) before minkyung stops her with a hand to the mouth when she starts describing ways to twist yaebin into a human pretzel.

“excuse her. she doesn’t get out much, so when she does it turns into a whole mess.”

eunwoo huffs and licks minkyung’s hand, and jieqiong is thoroughly amused when they start arguing in hushed whispers. yaebin pays it no mind, too busy playing with minkyung’s free hand where it rests on the table, and jieqiong thinks it’s mildly cute, how this already seems so normal.

she knows yaebin will gush later, will proclaim her love for minkyung from the roof of their dorm if she isn’t stopped, but it’s cute all the same.

eunwoo catches her eye when she and minkyung finally stop arguing, sending jieqiong a playful wink when she notices the amused smile on her face.

(jieqiong looks away quickly enough, coughs into her hand when she feels her breath catch.

huh.)

eunwoo is interesting, jieqiong thinks.  


* * *

  
the next time jieqiong runs into eunwoo, she _literally_ runs into eunwoo.

she’s got five minutes until her seven p.m. seminar starts and luck definitely isn’t on her side when she collides head first into someone else as she turns the corner.

there’s a yell, a whine, and then a groan all in the span of three seconds and jieqiong is already bowing in rapid succession to apologize as the other gathers their fallen things. she stays bowed as they stand once they’ve gotten everything and she feels her cheeks burn in embarrassment as they say nothing. then, “aren’t you the weird girl from the cafe a couple weeks ago?”

(jieqiong stiffens, because she recognizes that voice. remembers the way it had filled the cafe when it yelled about how she _could_ actually kick yaebin’s ass if she really wanted to.

eunwoo.

oh god, it’s _eunwoo_.)

jieqiong stands to her full height (which isn’t much when eunwoo seems to have at least a couple inches on her at best) and nods when eunwoo’s wary gaze turns into a satisfied smirk.

“i knew the top of your head looked familiar.” when jieqiong gives her a confused look, she laughs and jieqiong locks her knees to stay standing at the sound. “i mean, you had your head down so much at the cafe that i got pretty acquainted with what it looks like.”

jieqiong says nothing, feels like only gibberish would come out if she dared try to speak, but eunwoo doesn’t seem bothered. she shoulders her bag again and her smirk turns into a smile, barely there but it still makes jieqiong stare. 

“hey, wanna grab a coffee? that way i can get acquainted with your face, too?”

(jieqiong glances at the clock on the wall. her seminar starts in a minute and fifteen seconds and if she runs as fast as she can and skips saying hello to the TA like she usually does, she’ll make it in just before they lock the doors.)

“sure. coffee sounds good.”

//  
  
somehow, coffee turns into jieqiong pressed into eunwoo’s mattress in her and minkyung’s shared dorm with eunwoo’s lips on her neck and a hand crawling across her ribcage under her shirt.

jieqiong doesn’t know how she got here. all she knows is that one minute she was telling eunwoo her order, they were laughing and sharing embarrassing stories about themselves, then the next eunwoo had mentioned something about watching movies in her dorm, and then they were here.

(she can’t say she’s complaining, because eunwoo’s mouth is downright _sinful_ and jieqiong would be an idiot to question it.)

“if you wanna stop that’s fine,” eunwoo mumbles as she nips at jieqiong’s jaw. “i won’t hold it against you, and we can still watch a movie—i have totoro.”

jieqiong wants to laugh at the contrast between the innocence of the suggestion while eunwoo’s thumb is circling the button of her jeans with decided purpose, but she can’t because suddenly eunwoo’s kissing her and jieqiong swears her whole world flips. 

“forget the movie,” she manages to breathe out when she forces space between them, “i’m more than fine with this.”  
  
//  
  
eunwoo offers to walk her back to her dorm hours later. she holds her hand as they walk, tells jieqiong about the cat cafe she visited a few days ago and about how she’d love to take jieqiong there, too. 

when eunwoo kisses her again outside her door with a promise of texting her when she gets back to her own dorm before leaving, jieqiong tells herself that her heart didn’t pound.

* * *

  
it becomes an almost daily thing, going out with eunwoo. sometimes it ends with one of them in the others bed, most times it ends with a kiss or two before they part ways for the night.

yaebin says they’re dating, jieqiong says it’s two friends who happen to have a little extra fun together, and minkyung (from where she lays in yaebin’s bed, books open all around her as she writes notes) says it’s two idiots who refuse to acknowledge their feelings.

jieqiong always brushes it off. because she and eunwoo _are_ friends. they just so happen to be friends who really enjoy the benefits. it’s college, they’re young, is all a part of the experience of being so called “young and dumb”.

it’s _not_ a thing.  
  
//  
  
until it suddenly _is_ a thing.

it’s when eunwoo, with an arm curled around jieqiong’s waist and pressing ticklish kisses into her neck during some party in a frat house four months later, states that she wants jieqiong to meet her other friends.

it’s an easy enough request, jieqiong thinks. because she already knows minkyung, and despite her being glued to yaebin more times than not, minkyung is a great addition to jieqiong’s circle of friends, so she’s sure eunwoo’s other friends are just as great as the one.

she agrees and then eunwoo is whisking her through the crowd, shouldering past absolutely smashed football players all trying to do the latest dance in the middle of the room until they’re suddenly on the second floor landing. there’s barely any people here, only a few milling about here and there, some standing against the wall waiting for the bathroom, others just leaning against the bannister and staring at the party below. it’s calmer here and jieqiong can finally breathe.

eunwoo knocks on a door to their right and they barely wait for more than a few seconds before it’s unlocked and eunwoo is ushering her inside quickly, the sound of the door locking again behind her.

there’s a mixed group of girls and guys scattered across the room, some lounging on the bed, a few more sitting in front of the tv and yelling at each other as they play mario kart (“ _kang kyungwon! if you throw one more red shell at me, you’re done for!”_ ), and two more on the fire escape outside, passing a bottle of tequila back and forth between them.

it’s nice. calm. almost as if there isn’t a raging party going on ten feet away.

eunwoo claps twice, loudly, and suddenly everyone is turning to her. with a flourish, she gestures to jieqiong and smiles, “jieqiong, this is everyone.”

(jieqiong quickly learns that everyone is: eunbi, dahyun, and juyeon cuddled together on the bed and looking through, weirdly enough, vine compilations; kyungwon, kim nayoung ( _nayoung_ _one_ , jieqiong will be told three times over), seungkwan, and hansol sat in front of the tv, yelling at each other twice as loud as they start their mario kart game up again; and the owners of the room, jihoon and wonwoo, out on the fire escape.)

“and this,” eunwoo starts, as she turns jieqiong back to the one who unlocked the door for them, “is im nayoung.”

( _nayoung two! she’s nayoung tw—kang kyungwon, i swear to god!”_ )

nayoung’s face is stoic and she seems like she’s reading jieqiong from the inside out. she feels unprepared, like she doesn’t belong here because they all seem like such good friends and jieqiong is just—

jieqiong is just the girl who sleeps with eunwoo sometimes.

eunwoo slings an arm across her shoulders, pulls her close like she can read jieqiong’s thoughts, and stands taller. “everyone— _nayoung_. this is jieqiong.” she squeezes jieqiong’s shoulder reassuringly, “my girlfriend.”

jieqiong stiffens at that, feels rather than hears how everything around her stops. there’s no more laughter from the bed. the yelling from the game has stopped. even the repeated clinks of glasses together for a toast have stopped. everything is on them, on _her._

“girlfriend?” she whispers, just as seungkwan and dahyun both shout “ _GIRLFRIEND_?” as they rush to where they stand. the duo pull eunwoo aside and start yelling about how could she get a girlfriend and not tell them sooner. and eunwoo takes it all in stride, sends jieqiong her usual smile, and allows them to pull her away to question her.

it’s only when nayoung puts her hand on her shoulder that jieqiong feels how tight they’d been pulled, and she forces herself to relax as she turns to the girl. nayoung is still reading her, but now there’s a small smile on her lips and jieqiong thinks it makes her look softer.

“i’ve known eunwoo since she was a kid, about four or five,” nayoung starts, gently patting her shoulder when jieqiong finally relaxes. “she always said she wanted to be like a princess, you know? have the whole fairytale love that she read about. and i’ve watched her go through so much, so many relationships where she thought that it might be the one, only for it to end up with her sad and lost.” nayoung looks off, as if remembering the times that left eunwoo heartbroken and jieqiong swallows against a dry throat. “and while this isn’t a fairytale given how you two started out, i’m glad she’s happy—so thank you.”

and that breaks jieqiong. because it _means_ something for eunwoo’s longest friend to tell her this. to thank her for making eunwoo happy. and jieqiong can’t take it, because it wasn’t supposed to be a thing. it was two friends just having fun, but suddenly jieqiong’s a _girlfriend_ and she doesn’t know how she got here.

so she runs. right back out the door, right through the party and away from the house. jieqiong runs and runs until her lungs hurt, until she can’t hear eunwoo screaming her name anymore.

she runs until she can’t feel the weight of the word _girlfriend_ on her shoulders anymore.

* * *

  
it’s been two weeks since jieqiong’s seen eunwoo.

it’s the third friday of the month, jieqiong’s only friday off, so usually eunwoo would be sending her a flurry of texts to wake her up at eight a.m. and tell her to meet in the commons because she was taking her out. sometimes, they’d go to the park and get ice cream and people watch. other times, eunwoo would take her to the movies to catch whatever foreign film jieqiong deemed interesting enough to pay the money for. most times, eunwoo would bring her breakfast in bed and they’d spend the day watching old cartoons that reminded jieqiong of what it meant to be a child and carefree.

but it’s now hitting noon and jieqiong’s phone hasn’t gone off once. 

it’s what she deserves, she knows.

but her heart still thumps harshly.  
  
//  
  
by the time it hits three in the afternoon, jieqiong has turned her phone off to make herself stop expecting a call or text.

instead, she forces herself to get up and go out, to maybe try and be a human again instead of wallowing in self pity in the mess she made herself.

it somehow leads to her standing outside the cat cafe eunwoo eventually ended up taking her to the third time they hung out.

\--

( _“i’m pretty sure i was a cat in my past life,” eunwoo states matter-of-factly as another kitten crawls into her lap. there’s six on her now, each as cute as the last, and each demanding attention that eunwoo is ready to give. “i mean, i have to be with how much they love me, right?”_

_jieqiong smiles from where she’s sat, a singular white kitten fast asleep in her lap, “or the babies just want the food you have. could be either, really.”_

_eunwoo shoots her a glare, tongue sticking out childishly for a moment, “i’ll have you know that everything loves to be around me—i’m very lovable.”_

_she quiets quickly as a kitten licks at her cheek and jieqiong feels her heart swell._

_“yeah. you definitely are._ ”)

\--

it could be habit that brought her here. this is usually the time eunwoo would want to frequent the cafe, because it was when most of the kittens had woken up from their naps and were at their most playful. and when she glances through the window, she sees eunwoo sat in the corner, a kitten in her lap and another lazily lounging across her shoulders. juyeon and dahyun are around her, dahyun laughing as juyeon makes a kitten dance for eunwoo.

jieqiong smiles.

before she can even step in, though, the door is opening and nayoung ( _two_ ) and eunbi step out, both looking at her as if she is the literal cause to the end of their world.

(jieqiong supposes, technically, she is.)

“what are you doing here?” eunbi questions harshly, doesn’t even blink when jieqiong flinches at her tone. she just levels her with a hate filled look and crosses her arms over her chest, “didn’t you already cause enough damage?”

nayoung, at least, manages to not stare jieqiong down where she stands. she looks tired, as if she’s been dealing with the fallout of jieqiong’s actions, and jieqiong knows she has been. it makes jieqiong’s heart ache, both from knowing that she caused this and that everyone else has to deal with it.

“uh—how is she?” jieqiong manages to force out, steps back at the way eunbi makes a move to step toward her but is stopped by nayoung’s hand on her shoulder. she shakes the hand off and jieqiong thinks she’s going to continue to come to her, but instead she just sneers at jieqiong then turns and heads back inside.

(jieqiong doesn’t know what’s worse. the fact that nayoung still cared enough to stop her or that eunbi thinks so little of her that she believes she isn’t even worth the energy.)

“you’re asking how she is?” nayoung questions, muted surprise lacing her tone. jieqiong knows that her actions betray her words, but she still _cares_. she still wants eunwoo to be happy, even if she was the one who made her sad. she wants eunwoo to be okay, even if it’s not because of her.

so she nods. watches the way nayoung seems to deflate when she realizes jieqiong most likely won’t let it go. then sighs.

“she’s heartbroken, jieqiong. i told you all that stuff, about her wanting to be happy and how she used to feel—and you just ran away from it. from her.” she doesn’t reach out and console jieqiong when her face crumbles. instead, nayoung just reaches for the handle of the door, sending jieqiong a sad, pitying smile as she turns to head back inside.

“maybe you should just give up on love if this is how you treat it.”

* * *

  
yaebin and minkyung are cuddled up in yaebin’s bed when jieqiong finally makes her way back to their dorm after a couple hours of mindless wandering. 

she’s made it a point to not be left alone with minkyung or even be in the same space as her since everything fell out, and she’s managed to dodge every attempt the older girl made at cornering her since then. but now, after talking with nayoung, jieqiong deserves everything that minkyung could possibly throw at her, too.

she plops face first on her bed and doesn’t bother turning when she hears them pause their movie. instead, she just moves closer to the wall when her bed dips, knows it’s minkyung from the way long fingers comb through her hair, and forces herself not to cry at the affection.

(the irony of jieqiong meeting eunwoo for the first time when she was threatening yaebin to not hurt her best friend, but then jieqiong went and did it _herself_ to minkyung’s best friend, and yet said best friend is consoling _her_ isn’t lost on jieqiong.)

“so i hear that you’ve made a small mess of things, huh?”

jieqiong does cry at that, because it feels like too much to actually hear minkyung of all people say it so casually. so she turns and presses her face into minkyung’s shoulder, sobs harder when the older girl does nothing but wrap her arms around jieqiong and tells her it’s going to be okay.

she doesn’t believe that it will be, but jieqiong appreciates minkyung a little bit more.

//  
  
forty-five minutes of ugly sobbing later finds jieqiong squashed between yaebin and minkyung on her bed, a warm cup of hot chocolate in her hands, and both girls bickering about whether an even or odd number of marshmallows is better for the perfect cup.

“it’s obviously twelve mini marshmallows or six big marshmallows,” yaebin insists, pointing to her own cup as if it’s proof. “anything more is too complicated and anything less is too simple. it literally is the perfect cup, babe.”

minkyung scoffs but says nothing, sipping at her own (seven mini marshmallow filled) hot chocolate and resting her head on jieqiong’s shoulder.

(so this must be real love, jieqiong figures. where arguments are small and dumb, where it’s not too hectic and crazy. where it’s just you and them—and sometimes a friend if they’re dumb, alone, and sad—and nothing else matters.

this is the love jieqiong has often critiqued.

it was the love she could have had, maybe.)

“i think i messed up.” jieqiong stares down into her cup, pouts, then glances to minkyung when she hums in acknowledgement for her to continue. “we had something good, right? me and eunwoo. it was nice, right?”

“yeah, you messed up.” jieqiong sighs sadly and yaebin yelps, jerking in place when minkyung reaches over to swat at the back of her head for her comment. “what? she _did_ mess up, i’m not gonna sugarcoat it. jieqiong knows what she did was dumb, so do you and i.”

she sets her cup aside and turns to properly look at jieqiong, “jiejie, i love you like a sister, but what you did was fucking stupid. you hurt a girl, and yourself, because you refused to think love was a real thing for so long. now there’s a girl crying her eyes out—“ she barely blinks when jieqiong whines at the blatant fact, “—over you, and you haven’t done anything to fix it. 

minkyung sighs and sits up properly, scratching at her chin. “yaeb’s right. you haven’t done anything to try and make it better. you just waited around and hoped eunwoo would do it herself. i’m sure she thinks you don’t care anymore if you didn’t actually reach out. probably thinks it was a hit it and quit it type deal.”

jieqiong shakes her head quickly, instantly denying that. eunwoo was anything but a warm body to jieqiong. she was cute and funny and nice and everything jieqiong could ever want in a person to spend her time with. she made jieqiong feel like a better version of herself and made sure to always be there when jieqiong needed her. eunwoo was everything in the moments when jieqiong felt she had nothing. and she wants that back. she wants the girl she loves back.

jieqiong sits up abruptly.

jieqiong loves eunwoo.

she _loves_ her.

“i think i love her.” jieqiong shakes her head, hands yaebin her cup as she crawls over her legs to get off the bed. “no—i _do_ love her. and she doesn’t know that. i was so stupid.” she’s hopping around the room, trying to get her shoes back on properly while grabbing her keys and phone. “she thinks i didn’t love her and i didn’t do anything to change her mind!”

jieqiong’s already out the door by the time yaebin’s yelling an unheard _well duh you love her!_ after her.

minkyung just smiles and takes a sip of her hot chocolate.  
  
//  
  
jieqiong is out of breath when she makes it to eunwoo’s dorm on the other side of campus. she’s sweating some and her shirt is sticking to her back and she’s sure she looks a mess, but she doesn’t care. fixing things with eunwoo is more important than anything else at the moment.

she doesn’t even know if eunwoo is home, didn’t bother asking minkyung before she sprinted over, but it doesn’t stop her from banging on the door regardless. she thinks that eunwoo might not be there, because she bangs for what feels like hours before it finally swings open, a clearly half asleep eunwoo standing before her.

there’s a brief moment where neither of them say anything until eunwoo seems to finally wake up enough to register who’s in front of her. jieqiong sees the recognition in her eyes, hopes and prays that eunwoo will gave her a chance, even a minute, to just hear her out. but then there’s a door in her face and jieqiong is muffling a sob against her palm.

“wait, eunwoo. please! i know it took me forever to get here, and i’m sorry. i just—i didn’t know how to deal with everything. i didn’t know how to deal with being loved by someone or even—“ she pauses and swallows harshly, presses her forehead against the door. jieqiong can hear movement on the other side, hears a thump from where eunwoo must have sat down against the door and jieqiong instantly drops to her knees to be closer. “i didn’t know how to deal with loving someone, especially someone like you who loved me so easily.”

jieqiong stares at the door, waiting to see if eunwoo says anything, gives her any indication that she’s actually listening. when she hears a quiet tap against the door after five minutes of silence, she smiles and gently taps back.

“when you called me your girlfriend, i freaked out and ran. i know it was the wrong decision, i knew the moment i did it, but i still couldn’t stop myself from doing it. i was so scared. i’d never loved someone before, i never wanted to. i didn’t care about being someone’s girlfriend and i rejected anyone who ever asked—it was always just fun for a while and then i’d move on.”

(jieqiong remembers how people had come to her after a few weeks of casually seeing her, questions on their tongues about wanting to date, to be exclusive. and she’d found it flattering, but overall pointless. why date when she didn’t feel anything stronger than a casual liking? why lead someone on in hopes that she’d love them the way they proclaimed they loved her?

why ruin someone just to see if she could feel _more_?)

“but then you came along with your yelling and dumb innuendos and stupid flirting and i felt something. i didn’t know what it was, but it made my heart hurt for so long. and i missed that feeling whenever you’d go home for the night or when we couldn’t see each other because of exams. i fell in love with you without even realizing because i didn’t _want_ to realize it. i was too afraid to feel it because i didn’t understand it.”

jieqiong swallows, feels her head start to throb from where her forehead is pressed so tightly to the door. “and i’m still afraid because i still don’t understand it. but i’m more afraid of not loving you, eunwoo. and i do love you, so much that it makes me sick to think about not being a part of your life anymore. so please—you don’t have to say you love me back or call me your girlfriend again, but just give me a chance to prove it.”

it’s another three minutes of silence before jieqiong hears the lock click back into place, eunwoo’s quiet _goodnight, jieqiong_ sounding through the door before everything is quiet again.

//

three hours later, minkyung finds jieqiong still outside the door, a blanket thrown over her legs and a water bottle with two aspirin beside her, and a two minute old text from eunwoo asking her to hurry back to their room in her messages.

she says nothing, just helps lift the girl to her feet and leads her into the room, carefully laying her across her bed and tucking her in.

she glances to eunwoo’s side of the room and she’s nowhere to be seen. typical.

“idiots,” she mumbles, laying down beside jieqiong and carefully wiping at a dried tear stain on her cheek, “you two are the biggest idiots.”

* * *

  
jieqiong makes it a point to prove her worth to eunwoo once again. 

when eunwoo leaves her twelve-thirty music theory class, jieqiong is there with a late lunch and a coffee. when eunwoo texts minkyung asking her for a ride to her favorite diner in the next town over, jieqiong is waiting at the front gate in a cab ready to go. and when eunwoo posts on her twitter that there was a kitten at the shelter that she wanted, she begs and pleads with a reluctant nayoung to take her and help her adopt the kitten under eunwoo’s name.

(when eunwoo posts the kitten again, this time named pepper to match its fur and thanks nayoung for the surprise, jieqiong can’t even be upset at not being thanked, because at least eunwoo is happy.)

//  
  
it’s only after the sixth time that jieqiong’s shown up outside her class that eunwoo finally breaks. jieqiong is surprised, because really, she assumed the second would be too much for eunwoo. 

“why are you doing this?” eunwoo questions, staring at the sushi and tea that jieqiong is holding in her hands, “why are you still doing all this? there’s no point.”

jieqiong sniffs, doesn’t let eunwoo see that the comment hurt more than it should have. then, “i told you i would prove that i love you. so here i am,” she holds the food out further, smiles when eunwoo takes it with a furrowed brow. 

“you meant that, huh?” eunwoo sounds shocked, as if she didn’t truly believe in what jieqiong said. and she doesn’t blame her. after the stunt jieqiong pulled, she wouldn’t believe anything she said either. “well, uh. thanks, i guess?” she turns, sparing jieqiong a cautious and maybe pitying glance over her shoulder, “see you around.”

jieqiong nods, watches eunwoo until she turns the corner then sags back against the wall tiredly, hand to her chest when it feels like her heart throbs in hope. 

\--

(“so how’s operation _win-eunwoo-back-until-it-kills-me_ going?” yaebin questions as she steals another fry from jieqiong’s plate. minkyung slaps at her hand, tells her to be nice, and yaebin pouts.

“it’s not called that.”

“well, it should be. all grand plans should have an operation name. makes them more real!”

jieqiong sighs and rubs at her temples. when she told yaebin and minkyung her plan, she didn’t expect them to jump on full force as her number one supporters. if anything, she expected at least a _little_ apprehension, maybe a ‘you should let her come to you’. but nope, what she instantly got was two people going out of her way to do their best to help in anyway they could. it was definitely a hassle.

 (jieqiong loved them for it.)

“anyway. i don’t know how it’s going. she doesn’t turn the opposite way when she sees me anymore, but she doesn’t ever talk to me first. i get why, but i still hate it.” she sits up straight in her chair, fist hitting against the table. yaebin jumps in surprise, minkyung just sneers at her girlfriend. “but i’m not giving up! she’s worth it.”

minkyung nods proudly, impressed at her resolve and yaebin reaches for another fry, happily taking a whole handful when jieqiong just pushes the plate closer to her.

“okay, nice spiel and all.” she sips at her milkshake, waving a fry at jieqiong with shining eyes, “now how do you feel about operation _woo-the-‘woo_?”)

* * *

  
it’s eunbi who corners jieqiong first when she finds her standing outside eunwoo’s class again. truth be told, jieqiong expected this. if not from nayoung, then definitely from eunbi. the girl scares her, just so in a way that jieqiong respects and also fears eunbi’s drive to protect eunwoo from all harm. she remembers, absently, eunwoo mentioning her childhood friends before she actually met them, and eunbi’s name had come up quite often. it was always “dahyun the clown” and “juyeon the hard head” and “eunbi the protector”.  
  
\--

(“ _it was always us against the world, you know?” eunwoo slurred, nursing her seventh shot and leaning heavily against jieqiong’s side. “nayoung did the best she could to look over us, but we were such a bratty group when put together that we knew no better. she didn’t get paid nearly enough to babysit us as she deserved.”_

_eunwoo laughs. it’s small and wet, like she’s crying just thinking of the memories. jieqiong pulls her closer._

_“eunbi always tried her best, you know? whenever one of us got hurt, she always tried to fix it. juyeon got into this fight once when we were in high school. this boy had made fun of dahyun, called her weird and dumb for this game she was telling everyone about. and juyeon just jumped and lost it—we all did, because it was dahyun and we couldn’t let her down. and eunbi just threw punch after punch after punch. it was so cool.”_

_“and you know what she said after?” eunwoo questions before she downs her shot, pointing at her temple lazily, glazed over eyes glancing at jieqiong with a fond smile curled on her lips. “that she’d fix everything. she started studying real hard, wanted to learn about the brain, about why it made people the way they are. why it made the boys want to make fun of dahyun; why it made juyeon want to fight. she told us she’d figure it out and fix it.”_

_there’s a hiccup and then eunwoo’s signaling for another shot._

_“eunbi’s the best. i’m sure she’d protect you, too.”)_  
  
\--

“so i see you’re still the living embodiment of a spineless stalker.” eunbi scowls. jieqiong sighs.

(so much for protecting her, too.) 

“see now, ‘woo told me she got a new kitten, but i didn’t know she got a new lap dog as well.” eunbi steps closer and jieqiong instinctively steps back. the action causes eunbi’s brow to furrow and she seems a lot smaller now to her usual domineering posture, like she’s confused about jieqiong backing down so easily. “so why are you bothering her? didn’t you cause enough trouble for her already? i mean, if i were you, i’d feel too guilty to even look at her.” 

eunbi doesn’t sound mean or spiteful in the way that she says it. she sounds like she’s pitying jieqiong, like she understands where she’s coming from but she’s already deemed her actions pointless because eunwoo is already hurt.

because of _her_.

jieqiong knows that, deep down, eunbi is right. sure, eunbi is slightly scary when she wants to be, but she’s also someone whose known eunwoo through all her ups and downs, so she knows the best ways to keep her safe.

“listen, i’m not like eunwoo or minkyung or even nayoung and can give multiple chances—i know how people are. humans are inherently selfish. it’s just in how we’re wired, so we don’t understand selflessness until we’re taught it and even then it’s still a hard concept to grasp.” she gestures to jieqiong, gives her a lazy once over, “and you haven’t grasped it because you were too selfish to realize that lovable idiot loved you. instead you just focused on not loving her—or anyone.”

eunbi reaches out and takes the carryout bag jieqiong holds limpy in her hand. she peeks inside and notices it’s from eunwoo’s favorite family owned restaurant, then glances back to jieqiong with a deep, unreadable look.

“and now you’re going out of your way to try and prove what you should have shown from the get go. you feel guilty, like you let everyone down. you aren’t doing this because you love eunwoo, you’re doing it because you’re selfish and don’t want to lose her even though you left her first. you’re doing it because now that you realize your feelings are there, everyone else has to attend to them.”

it’s then that eunbi finally reaches out and places a hand on jieqiong’s shoulder, giving it a gentle, understanding squeeze before turning her and nudging her back the opposite way.

“learn to be selfless before you try to get close to her again. because i won’t allow it otherwise.

//

jieqiong’s pressed back against the wall just around the corner when eunbi and eunwoo walk by arm in arm, eunwoo giddly digging in the bag and pulling half of a sandwich out. 

she throws her head back and laughs when eunbi says something to her. she seems happier, not awkward and tense like when she’s around jieqiong lately.

maybe eunbi was right. she has only cared about her own gain while pursuing eunwoo again. not once thinking how the other girl felt about all the pressure.  
  
\--

( _“juyeon told me once, you know, that dating and heartbreak is a lot like physical therapy.”_

 _jieqiong glances up from her notes, watches the way eunwoo doodles their names across her own notes instead of actually studying them. jieqiong smiles._  

_“how is it the same?”_

_eunwoo hums, distracted. “if something breaks and you go to physical therapy, adding too much pressure right away only makes things worse. a broken heart is kind of like that too, she said.”_

_jieqiong laughs and goes back to her notes. “well good thing we don’t have to worry about heartbreak, huh?”_

_eunwoo stops doodling. she scratches a line through their names and turns a page in her book._

_“yeah. good thing.”_ )

* * *

  
jieqiong hasn’t shown up outside eunwoo’s classes for a week now. she’s forced herself to stop making the daily trip to the diner and ask for eunwoo’s usual. she’s told herself to not text her in the morning and wish her a good day or to text her at night and tell her sweet dreams. she hasn’t cornered a clearly stressed nayoung and asked her how eunwoo’s doing. hasn’t sent dahyun sad glances during their shared orchestra practices, hoping that she’ll tell her something about eunwoo. 

all in all, jieqiong has become a ghost in eunwoo’s life. but that doesn’t mean she’s stopped caring.

she still sends eunwoo a wave when she happens to catch her eye while still running late to her lectures. she still chuckles in amusement when she hears eunwoo’s loud laugh when they both happen to stay on campus for lunch. she still smiles when minkyung and yaebin both invite them to hangouts and eunwoo doesn’t ignore her existence the whole time.

jieqiong is still jieqiong. only now, she’s in love and willing to wait for love to come to her again.  
  
//  
  
it’s the third friday of the month again when jieqiong finally gets any indication that things might be going north once more.

her phone chimes once, twice, then quiets for a minute before it chimes once more.

when she checks it, her heart pounds and her breath cuts short because it’s _eunwoo_ and eunwoo hasn’t sent her a message in months. jieqiong was almost inclined to believe eunwoo deleted her number the same night jieqiong ran away. she wouldn’t have blamed her if she did.

her phone chimes for a fourth time and jieqiong jumps, momentarily forgetting that yes, while eunwoo has just texted her for the first time in months, it is usually customary to be nice and actually reply back.

the first text is simple, just a _hey, it’s eunwoo_.

then, _that was dumb.. of course you know who it is_.  

jieqiong laughs softly, fondly, because it’s such an eunwoo thing. 

_i know we haven’t talked much.. and this is just weird to ask outta nowhere, but i need some help. everyone has classes and i know it’s your free day… so could you come with me to try and find pepper? i left the door open while checking the calendar and he got out and i can’t find him anywhere._

then, _you don’t have to if you don’t want. i just needed to ask someone because i’m freaking out._

jieqiong’s already halfway out the door before her reply has fully gone through.

_of course. anything for you._

//

eunwoo’s standing by the front gate when jieqiong finally gets down, shifting from side to side as she bounces in place, looking as if she’s ready to bolt and go search on her own at any minute.

when jieqiong reaches her, she places a hand on her arm and doesn’t even feel hurt when eunwoo jumps away in surprise. the girl is obviously stressed, looks like she’s been crying, and her hair’s a mess as if she’d been tugging at it constantly.

“hey,” eunwoo breathes, stops shifting long enough to give jieqiong a grateful smile, “i know this isn’t an ideal way to spend your day off and you’d probably rather be doing anything else, but i really—“

“hey, hey, whoa.” jieqiong laughs, shakes her head as eunwoo bites at her lip to keep from talking more. “i told you, anything for you.” she hesitates for a moment, then nods, reaches out and takes eunwoo’s hand in hers and squeezes gently, reassuringly, “i’m here for you.”

eunwoo allows the contact for a moment, even squeezes back in what jieqiong knows is a silent thanks, and her heart swells in hope, and eunwoo smiles gratefully before dropping her hand once more.

jieqiong claps her hands together, ignores the tingle that she will swear is from how hard she does it and not from eunwoo’s touch after so long, and nods, “so where do we start?”

(jieqiong hopes eunwoo knows the question has much more weight behind it.)

//

turns out, pepper didn’t get too far.

after an hour of walking around the perimeter of the campus, both shaking baggies of cat food and eunwoo meowing at every bush and patch of grass she walked by (jieqiong side-eyes anyone who dares look at her weirdly—it’s cute and jieqiong won’t allow _anyone_ to tell eunwoo otherwise), they decide that the two of them can’t do this alone and they’ll have to wait until the others get out of their classes.

it’s when jieqiong’s about to leave as eunwoo’s unlocking her door that they hear it. it’s a quiet, muffled meow from the corner of her room, a pile of clothes rustling before pepper’s head pops up when eunwoo pokes the pile in a mix of mild confusion and fear.

she nearly sobs as she scoops pepper into her arms, kissing his head before she turns to jieqiong with a smile so bright that jieqiong wouldn’t mind living the rest of her life without her sight if that was the last thing she ever saw. 

she swallows hard, feels how dry her throat actually is, and makes a point to look at pepper instead of eunwoo.

“i’m glad he was safe all along, at least you don’t have to worry anymore.” she smiles, reaching out to tickle under his chin. “it’s good seeing you smile again.”

eunwoo’s wide smile slowly tapers off into something smaller, more subdued as she looks over jieqiong. it’s the quietest its ever been between them and jieqiong feels stripped naked, as if eunwoo is seeing all of her for the first time. and maybe she is.

“thank you again,” eunwoo whispers, reaching for jieqiong’s hand. she squeezes tight, doesn’t let go for a few long moments as she just keeps staring at her. “it really means a lot that you came to help, even if he was here all along.”

her grip becomes looser and jieqiong panics briefly, doesn’t want to lose this closeness, not yet, and tightens the hold again herself. eunwoo doesn’t flinch at the eagerness nor does she pull away, she simply just allows it for however long jieqiong needs.

(maybe forever is how long she needs.)

eunwoo smiles.

jieqiong feels something click into place.

* * *

  
eunbi, dahyun, and juyeon find jieqiong tucked away in the back corner of the library near half past two in the morning as they’re leaving, books and papers strewn about, half empty and now coffee almost teetering on the edge of the table and a bag of chips limp in her hand as her head falls against her chest while she snores.

the trio says nothing, just clears the mess away and sits. waits.

jieqiong stirs after a few moments (dahyun’s swift kick to her shin is a great wake up call) and jumps when she comes face to face with eunbi’s pointed gaze.

“so i hear you were eunwoo’s knight in shining armor yesterday.” jieqiong nods. eunbi arches a brow. dahyun ping pongs back and forth between their silent stares. juyeon quietly eats a chip from the bag she swiped from jieqiong. “she was very grateful for that. happy that you pulled through for once.”

“hwang, be nice. poor jieqiong already feels guilty enough about her wrongdoings.” juyeon stuffs a handful of chips into her mouth, smiles when eunbi calls her a slob. “jieqiong did a nice thing and we’re all happy eunwoo is happy.” she glances to jieqiong, “we’re _all_ happy, aren’t we?”

jieqiong nods and juyeon smiles.

(she’s nice, jieqiong decides. far less intimidating than eunbi. though, she’s sure a rattlesnake is less intimidating than eunbi.)

“does this finally mean eunbi can stop playing bad cop any time she sees jieqiong?” eunbi swats at dahyun’s arm, but the girl remains unfazed, gaze and smile firmly set on jieqiong. “because aside from the dumb stunt you pulled that night, you seem pretty cool overall and i got tired pretty early on of hearing eunbi call you lap dog all the time.”

(dahyun is also nice. jieqiong can see why they fought for her all those years ago.)

“—also you’re the only person who can somewhat keep up with me musically in orchestra so i’d rather eunbi not kill you, too. i need a challenge.”

juyeon chokes on a chip as she laughs at that and eunbi whacks her on the back without breaking a sweat. she turns to jieqiong when juyeon wheezes out that she’s okay, and suddenly jieqiong feels how serious everything is again.

“but really. i’m glad you took my advice and took that time. waited until she was ready to reach out. i appreciate you actually allowing her to heal on her own terms.”

 (eunbi smiles, and it's nice. she seems less threatening, more soft around the edges. for once, jieqiong feels like they’re on an even playing field.)

“but hurt her again and i will make sure that if you ever need brain surgery in the future, that your brain gets switched out with a rat.”

jieqiong nods, smiles. eunbi, dahyun, and juyeon all match it.

(jieqiong understands why eunwoo keeps them around.)

//

eunwoo slides into the seat across from her thirty minutes after the trio leaves, eyes half-lidded in exhaustion and jieqiong knows that she just woke up.

“hey,” she shifts, props her chin on her hand as she leans on the table and smiles at the way eunwoo struggles to keep her eyes open, “what brings you here?”

eunwoo yawns into her fist, scratches at her jaw as she seems to try and recall what actually made her leave the warmth of her bed and spend her much needed resting time in a stuffy library at three in the morning. jieqiong finds it, her, all this, cute.

“eunbi texted me and said you were over here. didn’t want you to be left alone, asked me to come keep you company.” she stretches, groans when her back audibly cracks, “i think she likes you now. i dunno—she’s an odd one.”

(now jieqiong gets it, what eunwoo meant ages ago when she said eunbi would protect her, too.)

“you didn’t have to come. you’re obviously tired.”

“wanted to. i know you don’t like studying so late alone, anyway.”

jieqiong smiles because eunwoo _remembers_. it’s a normal occurrence, most people don’t like to be alone so late into the night. but the fact that eunwoo remembered it about her makes jieqiong feel warm.

she reaches out and pokes at eunwoo’s cheek when she starts to doze, laughs under her breath when the older girl whines and grabs at her hand to keep it away. eunwoo doesn’t let go, just uses their clasped hands as a pillow as she lays her head down on the table, other hand motioning for jieqiong to continue her work.

jieqiong doesn’t mention that eunwoo’s holding onto her dominant hand, just bites at her lip to keep her smile at bay and tells herself she’ll apologize to her professor later if he can’t read her writing.

* * *

  
things slowly start to change after the library.

it goes from smiles across the campus to eunwoo running up and engulfing jieqiong in a hug when she sees her.

it’s no longer brief, awkward eye contact and stilted conversation, but quiet whispers in her ear and eunwoo holding her gaze whenever jieqiong catches her eye.

there’s no more one word or business-like texts, but eunwoo’s sporadic texts filled with her usual emojis.

there’s no more dodging her friends when they mention eunwoo will be there, but eunwoo inviting jieqiong herself.

there’s no glares from eunbi or pitying looks from nayoung, but there is eunbi’s arm around her shoulders as they knock back shots and nayoung’s smile when jieqiong helps her with a dance she was working on.

it’s not _jieqiong_ _and_ _eunwoo_ anymore, but _jieqiongandeunwoo_.

* * *

  
“hey, are you going to the party this weekend?”

jieqiong glances up as eunbi and dahyun slide into the seats across from her. juyeon’s already halfway done with her burger and eunbi rolls her eyes when she barely spares the two a glance, too focused on making sure her lettuce doesn't fall out when she takes another massive bite.

“you mean the party that yewon’s sister is throwing? sojung, right?”

eunbi’s cheeks bleed red and dahyun snickers but nods regardless. jieqiong doesn’t press.

“i dunno. i guess. why?”

“well, the last time you went to a party you made a fool of not only yourself, but eunwoo, too.” juyeon takes another bite of her burger, only stops chewing when she realizes everyone is staring at her for her blatant nonchalance on the sensitive topic. “what? she _did_!”

“but you didn’t have to bring it up, idiot!”

“well, i didn’t think it was like voldemort and we couldn’t mention it!”

dahyun gasps. “don’t say his name!”

eunbi rubs at her temples, mumbling curses at the two of them under her breath. after what jieqiong thinks is her mentioning the motor functions of the right brain, eunbi looks to her again.

“juyeon’s idiocy aside, you should come. make up for last time.”

there’s a lull in the conversation after that. all three looking at jieqiong and jieqiong staring down at the table in thought.

after a few moments, she looks up and meets eunbi’s eyes, nods once definitively.

“now. what’s so bad about _saying_ voldemort? it’s not like he's betelgeuse!”  
  
//

“hey, eunwoo?”

eunwoo hums, tucks her pen into her book and turns to jieqiong.

“you wanna go to that party with me saturday?”

eunwoo stiffens and jieqiong understands why. like juyeon said, there’s a bad taste in everyone’s mouths when it comes to them and parties. eunwoo probably still thinks about it, because jieqiong still sees hesitation in her eyes when she goes to grab jieqiong’s hand.

she hates that. she wants to fix that.

“it won’t be like last time.” she stands and moves to the bed, reaches out and takes eunwoo’s hand in hers, then tangles their fingers together when eunwoo doesn't pull away. “promise. it’ll be fun this time.”

eunwoo laughs when jieqiong bumps their shoulders together. she bumps back and smiles.

“yeah, i’ll go. we need to make a better memory, anyway.”

jieqiong absently presses a kiss to eunwoo’s cheek before sliding off the bed and moving back to her desk. doesn’t notice the blush that blooms over eunwoo’s cheeks.

(she ignores the blush that blooms over her own.)

* * *

  
the party is, more or less, the definition of a rave. jieqiong is sure she’s seen enough topless football players to last her a lifetime and if one more girl asks her about her skincare routine while touching her face, she’s sure eunwoo is going to jump.

but all in all, with eunwoo pressed flush to her side as they whisper back and forth in a secluded corner away from the rowdiest of the bunch, jieqiong feels like this is already shaping up better than the last time.

\--

(yaebin and minkyung had disappeared ages ago, drunkenly spouting something about celebrating their one year anniversary in style (though jieqiong is sure that just means in one of sojung’s many guest rooms).

dahyun and juyeon had somehow gotten themselves tangled up in a heated match of flip cup. and if dahyun’s slurred ranting about the physics of proper flipping and juyeon’s rallying war cry of agreement and subsequent promise of winning out of love for luda and mei qi (who stare in mild amusement and embarrassment at their girlfriend from the couch) were anything to go by when they saw them, the duo was absolutely smashed.

nayoung had somehow commandeered the hot tub out back, nayoung ( _one_ ), wonwoo, jihoon, and her all surrounding it as kyungwon, hansol, and seungkwan, drunk out of their minds, placed bets to see who could hold their breath the longest without having their faces melt off.

eunbi had been pulled away the moment they all showed up, eyes wide and jaw slack as she was dragged through the crowd. jieqiong guesses that the tall beauty who had taken her away was sojung, if eunbi’s frantic hand signals asking for help was anything to go by. but when she saw her last, all glassy-eyed and leaning against sojung’s side as the older girl casually talked with a few party-goers, jieqiong assumed all was okay now.)

\--

it’s a vast difference from last time. everyone is apart, but happy. they’re all enjoying themselves, and jieqiong hopes that tonight fixes the mess from a year ago.

eunwoo presses a kiss to her cheek, huffs when she realizes that jieqiong had zoned out. “hey, pay attention to me. you made a promise.”

jieqiong laughs. because eunwoo is always cute, but she’s somehow even cuter when she’s on the good side of tipsy and just wants attention.

(attention that jieqiong is always ready to give.)

instead, she takes eunwoo’s hand and leads her through the crowd toward the front door. last time jieqiong left a party, she was alone and scared. terrified of what it meant to be loved. but now, she’s with a girl who somehow still saw the good in her after her worst decision, and jieqiong swears that good things definitely must come to those who wait.

they’re only about a block and a half away from the house, the music just barely audible now, when jieqiong finally stops and turns to eunwoo.

“i’m sorry i was an idiot before and hurt you.” she shakes her head when eunwoo goes to interrupt, smiles when she pouts and presses their foreheads together. “i know you’re gonna say it was the past, but i’m always going to apologize for doing it just because i was scared.”

eunwoo takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and jieqiong lifts her chin to press a kiss to her forehead. “but i’m not scared anymore. i haven’t been for a long, long time.” her hands find eunwoo’s waist and squeeze gently, reassuringly.

“the only thing i am, though, is in love with you.”

it’s almost comical, the way eunwoo’s eyes shoot open in shock. it’s not like she doesn’t know, jieqiong had already practically ripped her entire heart out and handed it to eunwoo the moment she realized. but it must be different now, she assumes, to hear it after the year they had. to finally be stable and to just hear jieqiong affirm her love.

“so,” jieqiong whispers, smiles when eunwoo’s head tilts adorably to the side. “will you be my girlfriend?”

eunwoo takes a step back and jieqiong’s heart seizes. because maybe, just maybe, she read this all wrong. maybe eunwoo wasn’t ready again just yet, and maybe jieqiong applied too much pressure again too soon.

she opens her mouth to apologize, to beg eunwoo to forget it instead, when the older girl flicks her in the forehead with a frown. “you idiot, you were supposed to ask me in front of everyone so i could prove a point that you weren’t a coward.” she sighs, pouts. “now i owe eunbi two weeks worth of doing her assignments for her.”

jieqiong wants to cry because she didn’t ruin it, but also because eunwoo didn’t reject her. eunwoo still wants _her_. she’s still willing to try with jieqiong.

a wet laugh breaks from her and eunwoo is quick to wrap her in her arms, hushing her with quick pecks on the lips. it’s only after the tenth one (or is it twenty? thirty? jieqiong’s lost count) that she finally pulls back and smiles, question in her eyes.

eunwoo seems to get it almost immediately, eyes rolling as she presses another kiss to her lips. this one is less rushed, more soft, meaningful. it’s

the beginning of everything and the end of pain.

“of course i’ll be your girlfriend, silly. i always was yours, even when you were dumb.”

jieqiong laughs under her breath, hides her face against eunwoo’s neck in mild embarrassment. “i was always yours too, even before i knew it.”

eunwoo smiles, kisses the side of her head.

“i know.”

* * *

  
“so,” eunbi starts, settling back in the booth they’ve all squashed themselves into the morning after. juyeon, dahyun, and yaebin are arguing over the menu. nayoung and minkyung are lazily sipping at bloody mary’s to try and quell their hangovers, and eunwoo is halfway to being asleep against jieqiong’s shoulder, “you two finally figured it all out, huh?”

juyeon doesn’t miss a beat. “of course they have. they aren’t you, drowning in the woes of a crush on your friends older sister that you refuse to actually admit to.”

eunbi squawks, reaches over and swats at juyeon’s shoulder repeatedly. “shut _up_! this is not about me!”

juyeon hums, already disinterested, points at an item on the menu and pouts when dahyun and yaebin veto it.

jieqiong smiles, rests her head against eunwoo’s when she presses closer to her neck. “yeah, we figured it out. i hear you get free work done out of it.”

eunbi twists her lips, shrugs lazily. “‘woo wouldn’t understand my work anyway. it was more so just incentive to get your ball rolling.” she smiles and jieqiong is slightly jealous of the way she seems so put together despite them all feeling at least a little

off put from the party. “but i am happy for you two. really.”

jieqiong nods, knows eunbi means it by the way her eyes seem to soften and her voice pitches just that much lower.

eunwoo grunts when yaebin accidentally brushes against her as she reaches across the table for her drink, hand lethargically reaching out to swipe at the disturbance. there’s some drool on jieqiong’s jacket and eunwoo has lines creased into her face from where she laid too hard, but jieqiong still thinks she’s cute.

(it has taken them too long to get here, but jieqiong thinks they’ll appreciate the journey more as time goes on.)

eunwoo lets out a quiet snore.

(maybe being in love isn’t so bad.)


	2. the ground seemed so much farther

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or, alternatively, eunwoo learns that people you love, as well as the way they show their love, can come in many forms different than you expect.
> 
> (eunwoo pov)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wasn’t ever sure if i was gonna make a 2nd part from eunwoo’s pov, but then i did. then, i wasn’t sure if i was gonna post it because of pristin news, but again, i did because it felt needed.
> 
> enjoy.
> 
> @sojungbi on twt.

the first time eunwoo learns of _who_ jieqiong truly is, it’s four months into their pseudo-relationship.

they’re sprawled across eunwoo’s bed, chests heaving and bodies practically molded as one, bare under her rumpled sheets. jieqiong’s fingers aimlessly stroke across her back, and if eunwoo pays enough attention, she can make out a familiar beat that matches what she’s heard dahyun practice over the phone at three in the morning when the pianist can’t sleep.

( _“dahyun, it’s late.”_

_“i know, ‘woo—i know. but i need someone to make sure this change sounds right and i trust you the most.”_

_eunwoo sighs, looks over to see jieqiong’s chest rise and fall peacefully beside her, then puts the phone on speaker to let dahyun act as her lullaby._

_“i’m all ears, ‘hyun.”_ )

eunwoo smiles when jieqiong starts the pattern over again, then,

“i guess you retained that from hearing it so often when you stay over, huh?”

jieqiong’s fingers stop briefly, just barely touching eunwoo’s skin before she resumes, touch more prominent now.

“i should have, yeah. seeing as i composed it.”

eunwoo shifts and lifts up enough to hover above jieqiong, then pokes a finger against her still sweat-slicked chest.

“ _you_ came up with that? you?” she raises a skeptical brow, confusion evident, “the same girl who cries over we bare bears and sometimes naruto runs when she’s drunk—came up with something like that? i didn’t even know you played!”

jieqiong barks out an unflattering but somehow still pretty laugh at that and eunwoo smiles. her chest tightens when jieqiong’s eyes turn to crescents and she can’t help herself when she swoops down to muffle the younger girls mirth with her own lips. it takes a moment before either of them remembers that they were, in fact, having a conversation, and when eunwoo finally breaks their kiss, jieqiong chases her lips with a smirk so sinful that eunwoo has to press a hand to her chest to keep her at bay.

“seriously, jieqiong. how come i’ve never heard anything you’ve made?” 

jieqiong shrugs and her palm smoothes down eunwoo’s side distractedly, “you most likely have if you’ve ever gone to see dahyun’s solos.”

eunwoo blinks and smacks a hand against jieqiong’s hip, ignores her when she yelps in surprise.

“you mean to tell me all those times i cried when dahyun played was because of you?”

the _why haven’t you played for me yet?_ goes unsaid, but the slight upward tick of jieqiong’s left eyebrow lets eunwoo know it was heard loud and clear.

instead, it’s ignored and jieqiong smirks again, but this time it’s less seductive and more teasing, softer around the edges in that way that eunwoo can’t handle at half past four in the morning, so eunwoo rolls her eyes as she falls back to the bed beside her just as jieqiong pokes her cheek.

“i made you cry?”

“ _dahyun_ made me cry while she just so happened to play something you composed.”

“aw, baby,” jieqiong purrs and eunwoo shivers as an arm settles around her waist. jieqiong presses a wet kiss to where her neck and shoulder meet, smile tattooing her skin as she pulls the older close.

“maybe i’ll let you hear something properly someday.”

* * *

someday hasn’t come.

every time eunwoo asks, jieqiong always smiles and tugs her close, presses a kiss to her lips and tells her _i’m not ready yet_.

every time eunwoo catches her inside an empty band room, jieqiong happens to stop, turn, and gestures her away with a flourish and a quiet _in time_ , _sweetheart_ and all eunwoo can hear as she walks away is the muffled curse in jieqiong’s mother tongue and an angry slam of a piano lid.

every time eunwoo manages to see the crumpled sheets of long forgotten music littered across jieqiong’s floor whenever they burst in during a moment of quiet, jieqiong just presses hurried kisses to eunwoo’s stomach and whispers a hot _not yet, it’s not ready_ that leaves her keening and breathless.

someday doesn’t come for two months and sixteen days. someday doesn’t come despite eunwoo’s not so subtle glances to the multiple instrument cases delicately tucked away in the closet of jieqiong’s dorm whenever she comes by for their usual study sessions (or their usual quickie between lectures).

someday doesn’t come as those two months turn to three, then four, then five, until eunwoo stops counting completely.

(someday doesn’t come even when dahyun happens to find them hidden between the stacks in the library and mentions a recital she’s performing at for the spring recital. jieqiong only gives a tired and non-committal hum, eyes drooped low and face hidden against eunwoo’s neck, when dahyun asks if she’s finished her piece yet.)

and eunwoo thinks someday suddenly turns into never.

* * *

it’s only when eunwoo’s with eunbi and juyeon a two months before the spring recital that she finally breaks.

(and really, she surprises even herself that she lasted this long without whining—she even gives herself a mental pat on the back at that.)

she clears her throat and has to bite back a smile when both girls quickly silence their bickering and instantly give her their full attention.

she turns to juyeon, deflates when the other girl takes her hand without question, “does mei qi ever dance for you?”

juyeon nods immediately, enthusiastic at the prospect of being able to wax poetic about one of her girlfriends once again.

“all the time! mei qi’s always dancing, ya know? when she’s brushing her teeth, sometimes in her sleep. she even dances during the bad storms to help distract luda and i.” her eyes shine as she speaks and eunwoo would almost regret even asking if she wasn’t so happy that juyeon was just happy to be in love. 

“didn’t mei qi join the new dance team nayoung’s sorority started, ‘woo?” eunbi questions, marking her place in her book quickly before closing it without a second thought and focusing on the girl before her. “you know she dances.”

“yeah, but i wanted to know if she danced _for_ juyeon.”

eunbi blinks. eunwoo stares.

“mei qi dances for everyone.”

“but it’s different to dancing _for_ juyeon, though. that makes it more special, doesn’t it? to do something that you’re good at specifically for someone? doesn’t it show how much you trust them?”

juyeon squeezes eunwoo’s hand and she glances between her two friends briefly before she sighs, then,

“jieqiong won’t play her music for me.”

eunbi smiles like she understands and eunwoo wants to whine because she _doesn’t_. it’s not the same as juyeon, who has a girlfriend so proud of what she was gifted that she’s able to just burst into a spontaneous freestyle and have it look good and _another_ girlfriend that is literally known around the campus for being a part of every memorable organization known to every student because she loves showing off new talents. or even like eunbi, who’s so close to dating the literal coolest person eunwoo’s ever met that she doesn’t even know what shame is and is willing to do anything at any given moment.

eunwoo likes jieqiong _so much_ , would absolutely do anything to make her happy and keep the smile on her face—but this just annoys her to no end.

“maybe she isn’t ready? needs time?”

“it’s been months!”

and eunwoo _does_ whine now and she hates that it makes her feel younger than she is. like she’s back to being five and falling out of the tall sycamore tree in nayoung’s backyard and crying until the older girl promised to buy her ice cream while dahyun patched her up with mulan band-aids. it makes her feel small and useless and she _hates it_ because she shouldn’t feel obligated to jieqiong’s personal secrets.

“maybe it’s just something that she wants to keep to herself.”

when eunwoo goes to whine again, eunbi cuts her off with a pointed look and a firm shake of her head.

“she may be your bed buddy, but she’s allowed to still be her own person and have things she only lets others see whenever she sees fit.”

(eunwoo hates that even though she knows eunbi doesn’t agree with the relationship she and jieqiong share, she still manages to stick up for jieqiong when it comes to a matter of allowing her privacy. 

she silently curses eunbi for being such an understanding person when all she wants to do is _complain_.) 

eunbi nods once, words final, then opens her book again, and eunwoo knows that’s that on this topic for now.

she slumps back against her seat and pouts, and juyeon just pats her hand consolingly before going back to her now cold noodles with a grimace.

* * *

despite the fact that jieqiong is pressing feverish kisses down the slope of eunwoo’s jaw, all the older girl can focus on is the old abandoned piano that sits in the corner of the old spare room that they’ve stumbled into.

it _has_ to be fate, eunwoo mutedly decides, as jieqiong’s tongue swipes across that place behind her ear that usually has her shaking, but this time it serves as an indication of stopping because eunwoo cannot and will not let this moment pass if she can help it.

“jie,” she mumbles and she hates that it comes out more breathy than she means to because jieqiong puffs out a laugh against her neck and her fingers play against eunwoo’s rib cage so gently, so delicately, reminding her of the way she’s sure they’d glide across ivory keys.

 “wait, babe—jieqiong!”

she manages to separate jieqiong from her neck with a huff, the younger girl finally relenting long enough to allow eunwoo even the smallest moment to think. her hands still settle on eunwoo’s waist regardless, fingers impatient as they hook into the hem of her jeans and tug, playful and teasing, trying to recapture the moment.

“can you play, jie?”

the tugging stops. jieqiong blinks, head tilted.

“i was about to, i thought?”

eunwoo smacks at her wrist gently, cheeks flushed and eyes skittering to the piano in the corner again, and licks at her suddenly dry (and still so kiss swollen) lower lip.

“no, the piano over there. you said you would before, but you haven’t yet.” she turns her gaze back, now grips lightly at jieqiong’s wrist when she feels the hold on her jeans loosen, “why haven’t you?”

“i told you someday i would.”

“yeah, months ago and you’ve never brought it up since. i honestly thought you forgot or just didn’t care anymore.” 

jieqiong sighs and presses close again, lets her lips smooth down the curve of eunwoo’s jaw in a path of barely there kisses before she’s pressing a quick peck to her neck, “it’s not that big of a deal, ‘woo. it’s just something i do and i don’t really publicize it all that much outside of performances.”

she leaves a firmer kiss to eunwoo’s neck then steps back with a small smile trying to curl the corner of her lips. jieqiong’s hands instantly reach out to fix eunwoo’s hair from where impatient fingers had tugged at the strands then straightens out the older girls shirt before reaching for her bag that had been thrown at their feet in her haste.

“so don’t worry too much about it.” her hand’s on the door and she’s sending eunwoo that signature smile that usually has her weak in the knees, but now it’s making her stomach turn horribly. “i’ll see you later, babe. we’ll grab a bite before the party tonight.”

and then she’s gone, and eunwoo feels something shift.

* * *

eunwoo hasn’t seen jieqiong in two weeks.

she figures it’s partially her own fault, really; what with formally introducing jieqiong to all her friends as her girlfriend, after only hooking up, without properly talking to her about it before. and at a party no less.

so eunwoo _slightly_ understands.

what she doesn’t fully understand, however, is why jieqiong didn’t answer her calls or return her texts for the first week. why jieqiong hasn’t texted or called her first, either, during the second week. why she hasn’t shown up at their usual meeting place beside the fountain to get lunch like they do every tuesday and thursday. why she hasn’t called, asking about their latest third friday plans. why she hasn’t been lounging in eunwoo’s dorm room after her late practices, offering up a massage and a night of trashy rom coms to help her relax. why she hasn’t grabbed her and pulled her into the nearest empty room after a gruelling exam period to celebrate passing.

she doesn’t understand why yaebin sends her a pitying look when jieqiong turns the opposite way when they see each other in the quad toward the beginning of the third week. why cheng xiao, the pretty exchange student she remembers juyeon introducing her to a few months ago, says jieqiong’s name like _that_ when she happens to overhear a conversation that’s littered with praises and compliments of jieqiong’s skill.

she doesn’t understand why, when she manages to find that empty band room again and peak through the window, the old piano is gone and the door is locked tight.

she doesn’t understand why it feels like that’s not the only thing that’s gone.

* * *

weeks later, when eunwoo has finally figured that she’s fine with loss, that she can handle whatever life throws her way, there’s a pounding on her door and jieqiong’s frenzied voice piercing her ears.

(it’s not the first time she’s been privy to jieqiong trying to come back around. she remembers the scowl on eunbi’s face when she mentions jieqiong showing up to the cafe weeks ago, intent on speaking to her, but being turned away with her tail between her legs by nayoung.

it took everything eunwoo possessed to not go running back.)

but she’s too tired now, to worn down to not properly see her at least once, so she opens the door and just looks.

she looks at the sweat dripping from jieqiong’s temples; the hopeful, desperate look in her eyes; the way her hand shakes from where she curls her fist too tight.

she looks at the girl whose given her heaven and hell, and feels her heart seize violently.

eunwoo closes the door.

(she hears jieqiong sob, hears her beg and plead and promise to be better.

hears everything anyone would want. but not what she needs.)

she makes sure they both hear the lock click with finality. 

* * *

dahyun grabs her hand as eunwoo goes to pass by the moment the professor dismisses them, eyes rimmed red and rubbed raw.

“you okay, woo?”

eunwoo nods, thinks briefly, then shakes her head with a sigh.

“jieqiong came by last night. practically cried herself silly outside my room, but i couldn’t deal with it. it’s not fair.”

dahyun nods, pulls her into a hug, and eunwoo breaks. she heaves into dahyun’s shoulder, feels her heart break and shatter _again_ , and dahyun just pulls her closer all the while.

“it’ll be okay, promise. you both will be okay.”

(she knows it’s a tough spot for dahyun to be in. because while she and dahyun have been friends since literal birth, dahyun is still much too friendly, too loving and caring and kind, that she latches onto anyone she knows needs a stable pillar in their life.

so eunwoo knows, she just _knows_ that dahyun comforts jieqiong in the same way in the privacy of their own bubble, because she knows they share their own special bond, too. that she allows the other to be vulnerable just as she’s allowing eunwoo.

and she can’t hold that against her best friend.)

“hey,” dahyun mumbles against the crown of eunwoo’s head, snorting out a laugh when eunwoo lets out a wet whine of acknowledgement. “i have an idea.”

* * *

eunwoo did not expect dahyun’s idea to involve her being squeezed into the fanciest dress she’s ever laid her eyes on, shoved into an equally fancy car, and driven to the theater hall for the spring recital a week later.

and hell, has it been a week of a nonstop loop of an emotional rollercoaster.

(she’s had jieqiong in her face at every passing moment. the smile that eunwoo had fallen for before less teasing and more hopeful each time it surfaces, hoping that this is the day where eunwoo says she’s forgiven. but eunwoo never does; just takes what jieqjong offers and keeps going, hoping that her heart won’t beat hard enough to break all over again.

she even calls her out on it one day, expects jieqiong to give up after and let her be, but the steely determination and refined fervor stays in her eyes, and she knows it just might only be the beginning.)

so this break from the constant onslaught of emotion is a welcome one, despite the way eunwoo grimaces every time she tugs at the hem of her dress in uncomfortable displeasure.

there’s a chuckle from beside her, her hand being grasped and pulled from the fabric before she accidentally tears something, “why can’t you ever just let nice things be?”

the words are teasing and eunwoo rolls her eyes at eunbi’s snarky remark, sticking her tongue out childishly, “not everyone is so used to constantly dressing up, miss _i-go-to-fancy-dinners-every-other-week-with-my-super-rich-soon-to-be-girlfriend_.”

eunbi splutters and pinches harshly at eunwoo’s palm, cheeks burning red suddenly.

“she isn’t my soon to be anything! my dinners with sojung are strictly professional—yewon told me she studied bimolecular engineering before taking a year off to ‘find herself’ and deciding she wanted to venture into liberal arts and get an anthropology degree.”

eunwoo blinks, smirk stretching across her lips.

“you sure know a lot about her history.”

“i _need_ to know her history, she’s helping me with my dissertation so i have to make sure she’s properly qualified in what she’s talking about.”

“and that requires fancy dinners at the country’s most prestigious restaurant—that _she_ pays for, no less!—and the longing stares across campus?”

eunbi’s cheeks darken further, if even possible, and eunwoo’s smirk broadens as the older girl turns on her heel and stalks inside the theater without her. 

“goodbye, eunwoo! i’m going to find juyeon now, seeing as she’s nicer than you are.”

(yes, this was definitely the break she needed from her emotions.)

//

inside, eunwoo finally catches up to eunbi, the smirk long gone from her face and replaced with a soft smile, quiet apology on her lips as she wraps an arm around her friend’s shoulder to tug her close, which eunbi begrudgingly allows when she realizes eunwoo won’t let go anytime soon.

they find juyeon soon enough, both her arms slung across her girlfriends waists, and all three looking like the epitome of what eunwoo would call a _teen dream team_.

“guys!” juyeon lets go of mei qi and luda long enough to throw her arms around them, smile stretched wide on her mouth, “can you believe dahyun is playing here? it’s the biggest venue yet!”

(they had all screamed and cried when dahyun mentioned the theater the recital was taking place in. 

the literal place a seven-year-old kim dahyun had sworn up and down she’d play back when every piano she came across was taller than her. back when she knew what she wanted during her youth before any of them even truly knew what a life goal was.)

“she always said she’d make it here,” eunwoo comments, pride swelling in her chest for her best friend, “who knew it’d happen before we were even twenty-five like she planned?”

“i think the theater selection is all thanks to jieqiong,” mei qi comments from the side, gentle smile on her lips when she sees eunwoo stiffen. “said someone mentioned this was a dream of dahyun’s before, apparently, and jieqiong said something about wanting to prove she could do good things, too. spent the last three weeks getting all this arranged—almost gave the director a complex with the abrupt reorganizing.”

eunwoo refuses to acknowledge that she was the one who mentioned it to jieqiong during a night where they spent hours talking about anything that came to mind—their past, their futures, their friends and family; their _dreams_.

refuses to acknowledge that jieqiong helped make dahyun’s dream come true because she said it was _her_ dream to make sure all her friends got what they wanted.

(refuses to acknowledge that jieqiong did this for _her_ just as much as she did it for dahyun.)

there’s a tap to her shoulder and eunwoo startles, eyes wide.

she meets eunbi’s delicate smile and juyeon’s worrying gaze, both girls taking her hands in each of their own just as there’s final call for everyone to find their seats. 

“come on, let’s go watch dahyun shine and forget everything else.

//

thing is, dahyun does shine. she always does.

she plays like her life depends on it, and distantly, eunwoo figures it does. because she remembers the time where practice always came first to dahyun. where the summers spent outside finding fireflies at the river soon quickly turned to them huddled in their small towns only music shop, watching dahyun play piece after piece under nice old mister park’s careful instruction.

she remembers her, eunbi, and juyeon saving up all their christmas, new year, and birthday money for two years so they (along with nayoung, who was just barely scraping by through her first part time job at the rundown roller rink across town) could buy dahyun the expensive keyboard she had stared in awe at when their families took a trip to the city for a weekend one summer. remembers how dahyun had cried and thanked them. had lugged that keyboard with her everywhere, even all the way to her dorm room now. 

dahyun belongs up there, eunwoo thinks, chest swollen with admiration and pride as dahyun’s piece builds and builds until it bursts completely. it’s silent for a long, tense moment, then the hall explodes in applause and dahyun _glows_.

eunwoo feels tears in her eyes, because dahyun has finally gotten the first taste of a long had dream that they all had been running toward for years. 

// 

but if dahyun shines and glows on stage, then jieqiong _radiates_.

eunwoo remembers, slightly bitter, that jieqiong still has never played for her. but it means nothing now when she sees how jieqiong plays now. she seems at one when the instrument perched between her legs, fingers flying as they press into chords that sing through the theater.

she plays like dahyun, like it’s all she knows, but completely different at the same time. and eunwoo can’t even be mad anymore at the fact that she hasn’t seen this firsthand yet. because it’s like she’s seeing jieqiong for the very first time again, like this is the _true_ jieqiong.

and eunwoo gets it now, why jieqiong is so private about this side of her. because this is someone else entirely. not the loud, adorable girl who pouts when eunwoo teases her and randomly begs for cuddles in between frantic make out sessions. this girl is serious, lost in the lights and the music she creates. she tells who she is, _what_ she is, with the way she plays. and it feels almost voyeuristic in the way eunwoo can’t take her eyes off her.

the music swells and her fingers still, then it crashes with a final blow so devastatingly haunting that eunwoo feels her chest heave harshly.

 _she’s too far away_ , eunwoo suddenly thinks.

jieqiong’s smiling as she stands then bows deeply, her cheeks pinched tight and chest rattling heavy with deep, over excited breaths as the applause around her crescendos.

the intricate styling of her hairdo has come undone, jet black wisps of crinkled curls sticking to her forehead with sweat in such a way that it reminds eunwoo too much of a breathless jieqiong in _another_ way from too long ago and it’s not fair.

because jieqiong isn’t hers in this moment. she belongs to the stage, the crowd, the people who love her and demand more from the renowned _zhou jieqiong, campus pride_.

there are flowers thrown on stage, cheers and cries of _encore! encore!_ echoing around the theatre. jieqiong’s smile stretches, her familiar laugh, wet and drenched in emotion, sounds across the stage as she bows deeply again.

she leaves before the applause stops, doesn’t allow jieqiong to see her in such a vulnerable state despite seeing jieqiong as stripped away and raw as possible.

it’s outside when she finally stops, lets the air fill her lungs as she takes deep breaths to regain her bearings.

eunwoo thinks, _or maybe i’m not close enough anymore_.

* * *

a few days passes and, now that she has truly seen jieqiong like it’s the first very time, eunwoo decides to try again.

when she sees jieqiong between classes, they don't ignore each other anymore; they smile and wave and it feels like a step toward something better.

when minkyung invites her to movie nights with yaebin and she learns that jieqiong will be there too, eunwoo doesn’t decline. she comes and eats and even laughs and feels her heart thump when jieqiong tells a particularly horrible joke about cheese.

(eunwoo may have seen the real jieqiong now, but it feels like this jieqiong is hers, too.)

//

before she even knows it's happening, they seem to have come to a mutual understanding.

it goes from something as simple as jieqiong coming to help eunwoo search for pepper on friday morning, to eunwoo willingly leaving the warmth of her bed at three-fifteen saturday morning and going to stay with jieqiong in the library for three more hours as she studies.

it goes from simple smiles across the campus, to eunwoo taking the initiative to hug jieqiong again.

it’s suddenly hand holding and never-ending eye contact. it’s her friends easily welcoming jieqiong back into her life and genuinely becoming _her_ friends as well.

it’s everything, and yet still somehow not enough. 

* * *

there’s another party and eunwoo agrees to go, just for the sole fact that she wants to wipe the taste of the last year out of her mouth. alcohol seems to help, but jieqiong’s arm around her waist and lips pressed to her neck doesn’t seem to hurt, either.

it’s a vastly different night this time around. because unlike last year, where she went home with unanswered texts and calls and a tear-stained face. this time she’s heading home with jieqiong (her actual _girlfriend_!) molded to her side and a promise of possible forever dripping from her lips.

// 

“eunwoo—hey. ‘woo, wake up.”

eunwoo shifts, groans when the sheets slide uncomfortably against her bare chest, and cracks one eye open lazily before closing it again when she’s met with the fuzzy outline of jieqiong form against the darkness.

“why wake up? it’s sleep time, which means we _sleep_ , jie.”

jieqiong chuckles and eunwoo feels the bed dip as the younger girl leans over. there’s a trail of kisses pressed along her sternum, and eunwoo whines because she can’t go again now, too tired and worn out from the last few hours. plus, they had promised to meet up with everyone for a post-party breakfast and she refuses to go with anything less than at least three solid hours of sleep.

but the kisses keep trailing up until they hit her neck, then jaw, until finally jieqiong ends with a kiss to her lips. “come on, just five minutes.”

eunwoo sighs and waits. hopes that maybe jieqiong will say nevermind and they can sleep. but the silence stretches and the bed shifts again as jieqiong moves, and eunwoo finally gives in with an over exaggerated and slightly childish whine, back popping loudly as she stretches to sit up.

her eyes search the dark briefly, because jieqiong isn’t sitting at the edge like eunwoo expects anymore. instead, she’s moved to the other side of the room, and when she switches on the lamp that’s sitting on her desk, eunwoo mutedly notes that dahyun’s favorite keyboard is tucked against the wall.

“did you steal that from dahyun?” she questions dumbly, eyes blinking. because really, she loves jieqiong to _death_ , but she isn’t willing to actually see her die when dahyun inevitably kills her for stealing her literal prized possession.

she wonders, briefly, if she promises dahyun a lifetime supply of those chocolate pie things she likes would she be willing to spare jieqiong until at least next tuesday because they had a date to the aquarium planned and eunwoo wants to see the sting rays!

or, maybe she can shave jieqiong’s head in her sleep, give her a new identity and— 

“—to play for you.”

eunwoo blinks. tilts her head. blinks again.

“sorry, what was that?”

jieqiong smiles and eunwoo can’t even stop the way a smile stretches back across her face in return.

“i said i wanted to play for you.” she pauses, licks at her lips as her gaze finally moves away from eunwoo’s, “you know. properly.”

eunwoo swears she hears an unspoken apology between the words, a silent _i want to make everything up to you_ and her heart thuds painfully against her chest as she scrambles off the bed and to jieqiong’s side.

she brushes her fingers over jieqiong’s cheek, softly, tenderly, so full of love. “you sure? i know how personal this is for you.”

jieqiong turns her head just enough to press a fleeting kiss to the pads of her fingers. 

“i trust you.”

her fingers press into the first chords.

eunwoo’s heart soars.

* * *

“you know,” jieqiong starts as they’re walking back to campus after breakfast. a little ways ahead of them, juyeon pulls eunbi into a headlock after she pushes her a little too harshly and nayoung simply clicks her tongue at them before they scramble apart with a quick apology. eunwoo smiles, briefly, then glances back to jieqiong as she squeezes her hand for attention, “you never told me how you felt about the piece i played you.” 

her cheeks burn and eunwoo nudges jieqiong with her shoulder, “i _did_ , remember?”

jieqiong laughs and leans over to kiss her cheek, mirth on her lips as she pulls back with that familiar teasing smirk. 

“i meant with words, babe. you know, adjectives and shit.”

“i didn’t think words would do it justice.” at jieqiong’s confused pout, eunwoo stops walking and tugs at her hand to pull her girlfriend to a stop with her. “you didn’t use words when you bared yourself to me. it was—i don’t know. magic? some kind of voodoo? you practically picked me up and threw me down but in the most heartaching and glorious way.”

eunwoo shakes her head, laughs when her own words seem too ostentatious for even her.

“i don’t know, jie. it was everything, that’s all i can say.” 

jieqiong seems to barely think about it before she’s pulling eunwoo in and stealing the breath from her, free hand cupping her jaw and angling her just so to deepen the kiss. when eunwoo feels a sly tongue swipe at her lower lip, she has to step back abruptly, remembering that they’re in public _and_ that their friends have finally stopped and realized they were no longer following behind.

“jie?”

jieqiong smiles. her eyes turn into crescents and her cheeks pinch. eunwoo’s reminded of the theater, of the lights and applause and the surge of love she felt then.

 “i’m glad you thought it was apparently ‘everything', you know.” she tugs at eunwoo’s hand and pulls her toward their friends again at dahyun’s insistent _can you lovebirds please wait until you’re behind closed doors before you suck face!_ then,

“because it was for you, and you’re everything.”


End file.
